Boundaries and liberation
I didn’t realize that my desire to take care of other people to my own detriment was something that was typical of children of parents with addiction. I thought it was because I was a compassionate human. Much gratitude to Sarah Ezrin to naming this for me.
What can this look like professionally and interpersonally?
Operating at half empty, but caregiving anyway
Doing other people’s work for them rather than holding them accountable for not doing it and letting them (and the project) fail
Cleaning up other people’s messes
I know there are more, but these are mine. Putting how this has shown up in my romantic and familial relationships aside, I’m astounded at how this has shown up professionally. I literally spent the last 3 years doing this with folks that have worked for me. I believe that this finally came to a head because of the stress of pandemic living and working. And, now, as I look back on 3 years of extraordinary levels of work, debt accrued from giving so much programming away, and questioning what it was all for, I know that I was meant to arrive at this moment of discernment. I also now completely understand my burnout.
An opportunity to shift and the importance of community
Going to Ghost Ranch with Tracee Stanley, I was surrounded by peers and those who have bold goals and vision like I do. I realized that there’d been a deficit of this at home. Fortunately, we’ve begun a weekly container, and I swear it’s like an infusion into my spirit to keep going, keep transcending, keep climbing.
Being around people who are modeling the you towards which you’re working is a gamechanger.
If you spend a lot of time at work, you’re likely to spend time with those with whom you work, right? Well as a yoga educator, I find myself spending a lot of time with folks who are learning from me. At times, it also moves into extraction. For this reason, I’ve had to become boundaried around these relationships, and to ensure that I’m spending more time with my peer group, which also requires me to be in constant discernment of who my peers are. The truth is that, when in the business of growth and transcendence, your peer group will shift. This is why relationships end, why frustrations arise when around family tries to frame you as you were 20 years ago, and why we find new soul friendships at each decade.
Yoga as skill in action
As I continue to move through life, more than ever, I realize the importance of the Yoga. Being in the work of self study, practice, meditation, and rest — yes, rest is an essential part of this practice — has helped me traverse new paths with more skill. Although the loyal Capricorn in me wants to hold on, the transcendent yogi in me whispers, it’s okay to let go. In doing this, I’m able to show up for myself as strongly as I do for others.
How are you showing up for yourself in stronger ways?
There’s a certain amount of work that is required to release old ways of being to moving into bigger, stronger versions of ourselves. Lama Rod Owens contemplates: What are you doing to actually get free from suffering? In our life and work, what are the actions we take on a daily basis that is conducive to experiencing personal liberation?
While it is en vogue to center ancestral trauma and use outside sources to codify our ways of being (like astrology and personality traits), what could a reality look like when we name those things and vision for what it looks like to move beyond them?
In that exploration, we move from where did I pick up these habits or traits? which is incredibly important to know for healing soul wounds, to how to I transcend these habits and traits?
It’s going to take a vision, some clarity, a lot of work, and hella care.
I’ve been exploring these themes through movement practices over 4 weeks. If you’ve missed them, come through for this upcoming week.